Spooky Halloween Tag!

I came across this really seasonally awesome tag (even though it isn’t book related) from Kourtni at Kourtni Reads, that I thought would be a fun way to celebrate the spirit of Halloween!

1. Favorite horror or Halloween-themed song?

Frankenstein by the Edgar Winter Group, or Dragula by Rob Zombie!

2. Name something you wouldn’t want to run into in a dark forest or in an abandoned building.

Um, I wouldn’t really want to go into a dark forest or an abandoned building, let alone run into something I wouldn’t want to run into!

3. Have you ever played with a Ouija Board?

No, no, definitely not. Those things freak me out!

4. Favorite horror monster or villain?

JAWS! OMG, he freaked me out. I’m still not a fan of swimming in the ocean because of this one, despite Shark Week’s attempt to teach me that sharks just have a bad rep.

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5. The creepiest thing that’s ever happened while you were alone?

I used to work as an equine vet tech on night shift, and occasionally I’d hear stuff that would creep me out, but one night especially: I was in the isolation barn, and I had one patient, way in the back of the barn, behind two sets of heavy doors. The horse had been there awhile, so I was familiar with what she getting for medications, and she was only on oral meds. But during that night, I swear I heard a fluid pump go off in the barn, and shuffling in a stall that was very close to the pharmacy where I spent most of my time. Totally creeped me out- but at the same time, I wasn’t surprised. The isolation barn held many a horse’s last stop.

6. If you were dared to spend the night in a “haunted house”, would you do it?

NOPE.

7. Are you superstitious?

Yeah, I’d say so. There are some things that I’d rather be superstitious about than not- you know, like saying something and then knocking on wood before it can be proven untrue.

8. Do you ever see figures in your peripheral vision?

I tell myself no.

9. Which urban legend scares you the most?

Truth be told, I’m always creeped out by urban legends, so I guess one doesn’t scare me more than another. Being a Vermonter, I grew up with the legend of Champ aka “America’s Loch Ness Monster”; the sightings of Bigfoot; and more creepy ghost stories than you’d want to know! So I just take everything with a grain of salt and hope for the best.

10. Do you prefer gore or thrillers?

Thrillers, definitely. Gore gives me nightmares.

11. Do you believe in multiple dimensions or worlds?

I think you have to- the world is a big place, and we’ve proven that there is a lot out there that humans don’t know about. I guess you could say I’m open to the prospect, but not searching for it.

12. Ever made a potion of any sort?

Haha do mud pies count?

13. Do you get scared easily?

YES. I have a very impressionable imagination.

14. Have you ever played Bloody Mary?

No.

15. Do you believe in demons/the devil?

I believe in evil, and that it can take many forms.

16. You’re home alone but you hear footsteps in your house, what do you do?

Pray it’s the cat.

17. If you got trapped in one scary movie, which would you choose?

I try to not watch scary movies (see question 13), so I’ll keep this real PG and say Hocus Pocus, hahaha.

 

18. If you could only wear one Halloween costume for the rest of your life, what would you be?

I think Kourtni nailed this answer- I too wouldn’t mind wearing a Hogwarts uniform! #HufflepuffPride

19. Would you ever go to a graveyard at night?

I have, and it creeps me out.

20. In a zombie apocalypse, what is your weapon of choice?

I guess a gun- I don’t relish the idea of getting close to a zombie.

21. Would you rather go to a Halloween party or go trick or treating?

PARTYYYY!

22. You’re in a horror movie. Are you the final girl, the first to die, the comic relief, the skeptic, the smart one, or the killer?

Oh lawd, I’m so definitely the first to die. I can’t run, and I’m kinda gullible so I’d be all, yeah, let’s follow the creep guy!

23. Do you have to watch something happy after watching a horror movie so you can go to sleep?

YES. Ugh, my dreams get crazy. Shoot, I’m still having Hunger Games nightmares (though I’m extremely talented in archery in them!)

24. Whilst watching scary movies, are you the person who yells at the characters, the person with their eyes covered the whole time, or the person who falls asleep?

Cross between yelling and eyes closed.

25. Are you the one who gets scared, or the one who does the scaring?

In my younger days, I was the one who did the scaring. Now, I’m the one who gets scared. Adulthood is terrifying, y’all.

26. Favorite scary book?

I probably haven’t read anything scarier than Carrie by Stephen King, because I can’t handle scary stories. I also read this back in high school as part of an assignment, and I kept asking my teacher if I could read something else. She wouldn’t let me.

27. How old were you when you saw your first horror movie?

I have no idea- probably a teenager.

28. What was your first Halloween costume?

A kitty!

29. What are you going to be for Halloween this year?

A really cool aunt, LOL. I’m trunk-or-treating with my nieces and nephew this year, because I only had three trick-or-treaters last year! #ruralsmalltownprobs

30. If you could have a spooky Halloween pet (black cat, owl, bat, rat, wolf), what would you pick?

I’d definitely take a cat. I mean I already have two, what’s one more? #catladyprobs

 

I hope you all enjoyed, and feel free to do the tag too! Have a Happy Halloween!!

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Talking as Fast as I Can by Lauren Graham

Where are my Gilmore Girls fans out there?!

Welcome welcome! So, I just had to read Talking as Fast as I Can by Lauren Graham for so many reasons.

  1. Because I love “Gilmore Girls“.
  2. Because Lauren Graham is hilarious.
  3. Because everyone who has read this said it’s hilarious.

So for all thee above, I checked it out of the library and read it in two sittings. And it is hilarious, and enjoyable, and makes me believe that Lauren Graham and I should be friends… just saying. Although, I think I’d have an awful time keeping up with her because she seems to like having a million things on her plate!

Being a biography, the book covers Graham’s childhood, to how she decided to be an actor, to her big break on “Gilmore Girls“, and then to her latest project of “Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life“.  It was interesting to “get to know” Lauren, and to peek at how she came to be Lorelai Gilmore. The bio is full of comedy, sarcasm, and a little satire. But between all that is also a lot of great advice- some Graham’s, some “Old Lady Jackson’s”. Each chapter is fast pace

I don’t want to spoil it for you, as it is a relatively short book, but here are some of my favorite parts:

  • “I hadn’t really seen “Slap That Bass” as much of a comedic song, but maybe I was wrong? So I decided to go with their response and sort of shimmied my shoulders, adding even more personality and pizzazz.”
  • “The Top Secret Hollywood Secrets Food Chart”
  • “Paper Towels, a Love Story”
  • “Where ‘Oy with the poodles already” was born! I’ve said it on command for you in airports across the land, but honestly I forgot where exactly in the show it appeared.”
  • “But life doesn’t often spell things out for you or give you what you want when you want it, otherwise it wouldn’t be called life, it would be called vending machine.”
  • “It’s his variation on the Pomodoro technique, called Kitchen Timer, and it’s transformed the way I write…I love it so much that it makes me want to touch my fingertips together in that wonderful symbol we just invented in the last decade.

Image result for heart symbol hands

I highly recommend the read, especially if you’re a fan or if you need some light reading or humor in your life. I promise you’ll walk away from it with a smile and a good dose of laughter! 

Saratoga Payback by Stephen Dobyns

When I checked this out of the library, I thought there was something familiar about it. Turns out, I’ve read another of Dobyns’ books, called Saratoga Backtalk. Both are ‘Charlie Bradshaw’ mysteries, where we follow private investigator Charlie as he tries to solve crimes in the horse industry. I know that the horse connection had a lot to do with picking them both out, but in all honesty, while reading these novels, you don’t care much about the horses. The reader is too wrapped up in the suspense of the mystery!

In Saratoga Payback, Charlie is officially a retired PI (something tells me there is more to that story but it isn’t discussed in depth in this novel), yet he can’t help getting involved in the murder mystery that actually drops on his doorstep. Mickey Martin is found dead on Charlie’s sidewalk outside his home with his throat slashed and his tongue cut out. Charlie can’t quite figure out why, but he has a hunch that someone wanted Mickey to stop running his mouth, and wanted Charlie to know it too. So, trying his hardest to not meddle in police business, being that he no longer has his PI license and could go to jail for investigating, he takes on the “concerned citizen” role and tries to figure out why Mickey was brutally murdered.

It’s a quick paced novel, and very funny despite the scary situation, what with all the vicious slashing going on. As I was reading Payback, it made me recall why I liked Backtalk. Dobyns’ character driven plots make it easy to follow along but leave enough mystery to keep you turning the page. Charlie’s easy going personality and witty banter with his clients, friends, family, and informants make these novels an enjoyable read.

 

“Bossypants” by Tina Fey

This biography (can you call it that when it’s dripping in satire, drama, and humor?) came out in 2011, and I don’t know why it took me 5 years to decide to read it. I’ve seen Tina Fey on SNL as characters such as Sarah Palin (“I can see Russian from my house!”) and on 30 Rock as Liz Lemon (*Self high five*), and I think all of her crazy movies that always make me laugh. So I repeat, what took me so long to read her book? I don’t know, but I’m glad I finally did- SO MANY QUOTEABLES.

First, a little recap. Fey takes her audience through phases of her life, from childhood to comedy tours to SNL to 30 Rock,  and sprinkles in her thoughts on politics, feminism, and parenthood. Her stories are all hilarious, but when reading between the lines, Fey has made some major points about the world at present. One of the things that really caught my attention was when a question was posed at a workshop that Fey was in for women to “write down when you knew you were a woman”, meaning when they felt like a woman and not a girl. When she pointed out that most of the answers were ‘when a man…(insert jeer, whistle, or suggestive comment here)’, Fey humorously commented on how not one answer was about accomplishing a self goal or a feeling found within- it was about how a man made some girl feel like a woman, and not the girl herself noting that she had become a woman. Pretty sad when you think about it, right? This method of making the audience think without forcing it is a theme that runs throughout. Fey does this with many hot-button topics, such as breastfeeding vs formula, stay at home vs career moms, politics, and employment sexism. Overall, she tells her autobiography in a way that isn’t all about herself- it’s about her world and how she’s living in it.

At times, there are points where Fey does run on tangents (but it’s ok because the book leans more towards a tell-off rather than a tell-all), so it’s not a neat little story line that’s easy to follow- it’s more conversational, with breaks in between topics. This would normally drive me crazy, but Fey makes this running dialogue seem like she’s talking to you, and you can’t help but dangle on every word for fear of not understanding the punchline. And guys, if you don’t already know- she’s funny. Almost every inch of this book has a punchline, and there were so many parts that made me laugh. As a friend of mine dubbed it, Fey is full of “quoteables”. My favorites were “golden nuggets”, “bravo, bravo, bravo”, and the entirety of “A Mother’s Prayer For Her Daughter”.

I’d advise anyone to pick this book up and read it. It’s quick paced, witty, and full of unsolicited wisdom that your “cool aunt” would share with you- you know, stuff you didn’t really want to know, but are totally going to discuss with your besties later. I picked it up at my local library and it took me a few days to read it (still in the moving process- ugh) but I bet I could’ve finished it in two days. It’s the perfect beach, pool, or hammock read, and great for a laugh.

 

 

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